Flashes Bright, Then Fades Away
by Delphi1138
Summary: She sees herself in him. Young, scared, and grasping for strength. Memories of her transformation to Lightning come unbidden. She doesn't want him to be like her. "Lightning. It flashes bright, then fades away. It can't protect. It only destroys."
1. Regret

Hope was single minded in his mission. To find Snow and have his revenge. That wasn't what she wanted. She just wanted him to toughen up so he wouldn't die. He was such a fragile kid. Probably had never seen a real fight in his life until the Purge.

Even now, after he insisted on taking point, she took in the weakness of the child. Small in stature and smaller in frame, but he tried to carry himself like a soldier. Like her.

He stopped, looking around. His hand was hovering where he kept his boomerang and the knife she'd lent him. She wanted to take it back, take back everything. Those wide green eyes finally looked back at her, now narrowed in concentration.

"Don't look so worried, Light," the boy said with gravity that didn't suit his age. He gave a determined nod as he turned around. "I said I'd look out for you and that's exactly what I'm doing. I've gotta be tougher if I'm going to complete Operation Nora."

Now she'd turned him into a determined murderer. What had she done? What could she say? After all, she wasn't so different from him…

Memories came unbidden as she followed the silver haired boy in front of her. Ones she'd buried long ago when Clare became Lightning.


	2. Loss

"She's not dying!"

The words escaped her lips before she'd even truly comprehended them. Her mother wasn't dying. She'd been getting better! The doctors told her she might even make a full recovery. It wasn't possible! She wasn't going die! Especially not from some stupid infection! They could just give her medicine and it'd kill it, right?

Her mother was lying there, pale and motionless; dark blonde hair soaked with sweat. She'd never realized how petite the woman was until she was nearly swallowed by the hospital bed. The unnatural, mechanical breathing from the ventilator made the scene even more alien. Tubes ran up and down, in and out.

"Just give her something to make her better!" the fifteen year old demanded, unable to take the scene anymore.

"We have been. But there's only so much we can do," her mother's doctor patiently replied. How was he going to explain to this hysterical teenager the intricacies of modern medicine and why it couldn't save this woman? "The drugs we've given her have weakened the virus but her immune system will have to finish it off. I'm sorry but I don't think it's going to be enough. It's spread too far," The doctor explained but all the girl heard was can'ts and don'ts. Why weren't they fixing her? What could be so difficult about taking care of a virus? Too many questions and not enough answers. She didn't even bother to ask the name of this illness. She just wanted it purged from her mother.

"What does she need then? Blood? Marrow? Something else? Take it from me, take it all! Just don't let her die!" Tears were running down her face now. Absently she could feel soft, small hands wrapping around her arm.

"Sis…" the whispered voice of her sister broke her from her rage. She turned and saw the deep blue of the girl's eyes, brighter from the tears and red puffiness that surrounded them. "I…" the younger girl began but then hung her head and began to sob. The anger quickly returned as the twelve year old didn't know what to say to comfort her wounded older sister.

And then the sound she'd been dreading. A high pitched beep sounded out first, followed by a cacophony of higher and lower tones. The doctor turned and immediately began to resuscitate her mother. A team of nurses quickly followed, pushing medication and preparing for the worst.

She pulled her little sister away just as the girl started to sob even harder. Two pairs of wide eyes watched as their mother was poked, prodded, manhandled… Her tiny body looked as if it would break. But it was all in vain. The doctors made a valiant effort, she had to admit. But that didn't change the outcome.

Their mother was dead.

She ran. Through the hospital halls, through the doors, and out into the streets of Bodhum. She didn't know where she was going. Just away. Somewhere far away from that place of death. She couldn't run fast enough. Every where she looked there were memories and hints of what would never be. That café was where they went to celebrate for any reason they could make an excuse for. There was where her mother used to wait for her and Serah to walk them home from school. Her father's old work as a chemical engineer. The chapel that she and Serah had playfully argued about when they'd beat the other to the altar. Their mother wouldn't be there. Everything held memories of her family and made it clearer that nothing would be the same.

She kept her eyes on the road in front of her. She couldn't take it anymore. One step at a time. That's all that mattered. Just keep running.

The fal'Cie didn't save her. The thought played over and over in her mind. The fal'Cie could make miracles happen. How long had she been begging the fal'Cie to save her mother? She'd already lost her father years ago. Why couldn't they spare one woman?

Finally she found herself at Bodhum's tide control fal'Cie. Was this her destination all along? The massive, crystal scaled being was half submerged in the surf like always. Still unmoving. Without realizing what she she'd done until the sea worn stone left her hand, she hurled the rock straight at the creature with an anguished yell. The stone dropped short and its splash was lost in the frothy waves.

"Bring her back!" the girl yelled, blue-green eyes focused on the fal'Cie. "Take anything else, take anything from me! Just leave my family alone!" Hadn't her family suffered enough? First her father, taken in an airship accident. The fal'Cie didn't do anything to stop that either. Weren't they the ones responsible for keeping airships afloat? Why did it fall? There was no answer. Only her father removed from her life forever. For everything the fal'Cie supposedly did for Cocoon and it's citizens, they never kept the people most precious to her safe. For centuries they'd been silent watchers, their time spent meddling with mere mortals long past.

There weren't enough rocks on the shore to satiate her anger. She resorted to fistfuls of sand instead. She wasn't finished in her tirade against the God-like beings. Though it felt she'd been screaming for hours it didn't take long for the Guardian Corp to apprehend the child, dragging her away. They were going back to the city center. Back where her mother had died. The last place she wanted to be.

The soldiers held her arms, avoiding her flailing fists that failed to find their mark. Finally she sagged into the uniformed arms and sobbed. She was defeated. No one was going to bring her parents back. There wasn't anyone to raise her and Serah anymore. No aunts, uncles, or grandparents. Who was going to take care of them? Who was going to look out for her and Serah?

Serah…she'd left her there at the hospital all by herself. What kind of sister was she? Leaving her alone with that scene…

But they were alone. And that was their reality now.


End file.
